Seriously, Don't Upsize Me
by GamerJay
Summary: Inspired by Sketch Comedy. It's Kim and Ron on a date...albeit unconventional. 'Nuff said.


**I don't own Kim Possible. It is property of Disney.**

A/N: This is based off one of my favourite skits from the Australian comedy show, Comedy Inc. Enjoy…

* * *

"Come on Ron, I really shouldn't…"

"No sweat KP. I'm paying with actual money this time."

As they approached the snack bar counter with the blonde-haired young woman as the cashier the redhead couldn't help but be impressed by Ron's declaration that he was paying with 'actual money'. And unfortunately here at the Middleton Cineplex that's all they took, and Ron knew that. No coupons, just money, preferably cash.

"Ok, I'll have the small popcorn, medium coke and a bag of Malteasers."

"Uh-huh," Ron browsed through the selection posted on the wall behind the counter, "And I'll have the medium popcorn, medium diet coke, doritos and a choc top."

The cashier looked at Ron hopefully.

"Sir, do you realise you can upsize for an extra sixty cents?"

Ron smiled and waved her off, "Oh no thanks, we're cool."

The cashier lady's eyes widened and her smile abruptly faded, taken back by Ron turning down that deal.

"Wha…what did you say?"

"Er…no thanks?"

Ron and Kim's smiles disappeared when the lady put both her hands on the glass counter, and begun looking at the both of them pleadingly.

"But…it's like having another box of popcorn for free," she said, sounding petrified.

Then they were surprised and became a bit cautious when the lady begun making faces – scrunching up the right side of her face as if having trouble winking at them.

"I…really…think…"

"Look, if I wanted to upsize, I'd hand over the extra sixty cents," Ron said, then chuckled nervously as he noticed the lady looking more erratic by the second, "So can we please just… have what we ordered?"

"Sir, I really think you should…"

The door leading into the backroom behind the candy bar opened…

"Ah, excuse me…"

…and suddenly out stepped a brown/blonde-haired young man in his early twenties, dressed in a pink suit and tie with purple undershirt. His nametag was displayed on the left breast of his suit, which read: Jay. He stood next to the now-calm counter lady and faced Kim and Ron, appearing emotionless which was enough to unease Ron even further.

"…Hello, I'm the candy counter manager," the young man introduced himself, "Is there a problem?"

Taken back by his sudden appearance, Kim suddenly replied, "No problem. We just don't want to upsize."

Jay looked at the couple, confused, then turned to the cashier and begun whispering loudly and sternly.

"Did you tell them about that popcorn butter substitute being classed as unhygienic?"

Kim's eyes widened at the statement.

The lady shook her head and hissed back quietly, "No, they just won't upsize."

Jay then turned back to them, a calm yet stern look on his young face.

"Sir, I hope you mind if I ask: Why you don't you wish to upsize?"

Ron shrugged and smirked, "Uh…we…just don't want to."

"We have enough," Kim added, smiling as if reassuringly.

Jay smirked at the two them, where Kim noticed a sharp gleam in his left eye.

"Marcus, Jack."

Before Kim and Ron even thought of reaction, two intimidating, burly men in black shirts and jeans suddenly stepped up to them, standing on either side of them with their arms crossed and glares aimed at the two teenagers. They both stiffened instantly, each turning to face their oppressor, having realised that they just walked right into a very unusual trap. They then saw that the smile of Jay's face had disappeared.

"Now let me see if I've understood this correctly," Jay said, "You don't wish to upsize your popcorn for an extra sixty cents?"

Ron gulped, looking straight at Jay and at his eyes and away from the bouncers, "Yeah we…don't wish to upsize."

Jay pressed on, "You do realise, sir, that this represents extraordinary value for money, and that nearly all of our happy movie-goers who do choose to upsize…"

He smiled, creeping Kim and Ron out.

"…make it back to their vehicles without having any unfortunate accidents."

Kim snorted in disbelief, about ready to put herself into fight mode, "What is this some sort of intimidation?"

Jay shook her head, recognising her body language as someone about to lunge forward and grab him by the throat, "Oh no…no…"

Marcus pulled a cellphone out from his pocket.

"…THIS is intimidation."

And held it near Ron's ear, immediately dialling where the other line immediately picked up.

_Ron!_

Ron's eyes widened, and Kim stopped herself from attacking upon hearing the voice of Ron's mother. She glanced over at Ron and his stupefied face.

"Mom?"

Ron was in total disbelief.

"Mom is that you?"

Mrs. Stoppable sounded that upset and desperate, _Oh for God's sake, Ronnie…upsize the damn popcorn or they'll…"_

Marcus suddenly pressed END on the phone and put it back in his pocket. An awkward silence passed over both Kim and Ron as they stood before the snack bar with the bouncers still flanking them, with the counter lady looking at them plainly and Jay smiling creepily at them. A minute passed when Ron opened his mouth again.

He forced his enthusiasm, "Wow…that's really great value for money."

Kim followed his example, "And popcorn _is_ yummy."

"Yes, _very_ yummy," Jay agreed and chuckled, "Well, I'll let you get back to it."

The bouncers then gave them each one last leer and walked off, causing Kim to suddenly exhale with relief.

"Enjoy your movie."

And with that Jay gave them one last smiled and walked off and into the next room, leaving the counter-lady smiling sweetly at the shell-shocked couple.

"So…upsizing the popcorn for an extra sixty cents?"

Kim and Ron looked at each other, then at the counter lady and replied together, shaken, "Yes, please."

It was then that the cashier said something that made their hearts stop beating for a split second and their blood chill in their veins…

"Do you realise for an extra dollar twenty you can upgrade to the Mega Value Combo?"

…and a petrified Kim instantly reached for Ron's hand and squeezed while Ron looked on, emotionless as he was scared stiff at what's to come next....


End file.
